"Baby"

Why do so many songs have the word "baby" in them? How often do you actually use the word "baby" in real life, unless you are talking about an actual baby? Some people call their girlfriends "baby," but they are usually yucky men who have six girlfriends and eight diseases. If someone called me "baby" I would punch him. Well, I would at least look at him in disgust. And usually in songs the word "baby" is not being used to describe a specific person. The word usually just fills awkward space at the end of an ineloquent sentence. No one in real life just randomly says, "I was playing my guitar, baby," so why is it suddenly acceptable just because someone sings it? The "I really love you, baby" I might find acceptable because it is possible that the singer wrote the song while his girlfriend was there. Or perhaps he just hasn't found a name for his actual baby yet. But the random sentences should be left alone. Even worse than the single "baby" is the multiple "baby" or the "baby-yeah" combo. The multiple "baby" usually consists of just two "baby”s in a row, but sometimes can be repeated up to five times, especially if the singer is a male in his early twenties who can't play an instrument or do up all the buttons on his shirt. The "baby-yeah" combo is even more predominant, and is used by both real bands and those who dance around with chairs. The "yeah" is unnecessary because we know you agree with what you said, otherwise you wouldn't have said it. And the combination of useless words brings attention to the lack of creativity. I feel very sorry for the first person who ever used the word "baby" in a song, because everyone is plagiarizing and he/she is receiving no credit. No Grammys should be given to artists whose albums contain the word "baby." A good artist would come up with his own word. Why not fill up that awkward space with the word "pencil" or "Marvin" or "chinstrap." Any of these words would make just as much sense as having "baby" in there. If you sang "I walked down the road, pencil" people would probably just assume it meant something really deep. They would then talk about your band to all their friends because understanding your indie weirdness would make them seem underground and cool. Soon all the grade twelves who want to rebel would be writing their own songs that included the filler word, "pencil." You could create a musical revolution. Children worldwide would idolize you. Your uncle at the pencil factory would never have seen better sales. Bill Gates' shares would go down. You might score a date with Courtney Love. You could smash your guitar every night and could just buy a new one the next day. You could smash anything you wanted and would never go to jail. But I think a better idea than smashing the guitar would be to simply break pencils in half on stage. That would be just as violent but more fitting and original. Besides, that's the only reason people liked your band to begin with. And that's another reason the word "pencil" is so much better than "baby." You could never get away with breaking a baby in half on stage. That would mean you weren't the real mother, and the other lady would get the baby.