Paper

Think of all the paper we use. Every day I am given useless sheets that I drop directly into the recycling bin. My floor is covered in paper. I have binders full of paper. Imagine if someone had come up with a different invention instead of paper? Perhaps the paper inventor had various designs and finally decided on the blank white sheet. Perhaps his other design was a wooden sphere you could chisel or a bucket of quick drying mud you could etch. But instead we have these thin crunchy little rectangles that slice your finger and get all bent and get strewn about. Why must they be rectangles? It would be more aesthetically pleasing if they were round, and then there wouldn’t be the dangerous corners. They could at least be square – that would make folding and origami easier. And how ridiculous is it that we have envelopes. We have invented a secondary piece of paper to contain the original piece of paper. Why isn’t paper just naturally also an envelope? Think of all the time and money we could save!

Right now I am writing on a fake piece of paper. Paper is so important that they have even created fake paper in form of a computer. No offence to us, but why the hell is what we say and do so important that there be this much documentation? I personally feel kind of ripped off as a human. In the past they could only write on chiselled rocks with quill pens so no one bothered to keep any records. But think about how much they’ll know about us in the future! Somewhere, some child will find my politics essay locked in a shoebox and will marvel at my intelligence. Think of all the people who lived in medieval times who we will never know existed! Their existence had no meaning. But we all have 65247621345 documents we have had to type and write along with videos and pictures of ourselves that will one day be in a museum for the kids to see on their boring field trips. Except their field trips to the museum won’t be that boring, because they’ll have robots making hot chocolate for them on the way there, and then at the museum the information can be directly implanted into their minds. Plus the children will all be dolphins.